“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” -Dr. Suess
We all know Dr. Suess is right, we just don’t necessarily act on this knowing, especially when in the midst of wedding planning. And while beautiful wedding day photos and a professionally edited video are wonderful to look back on too, they do not re-connect us emotionally in the same way as a personal message tucked inside a wedding day time capsule does.
I’ve collected a few ideas to help you incorporate some type of time capsule into your wedding day. Confession, we did not do this on our wedding day – not because we decided against it, but because we were not aware of it. [And I absolutely am sufficiently cornball/romantic to have included this.] So heads-up, David. I am thinking of including some version of this into our lives now – almost 2 years post wedding day.
There are two ways couples usually incorporate the time capsule idea into their wedding day: “Day of” ceremony time capsule or a Guestbook time capsule.
“Day of” Time Capsule
Supplies: A box & paper.
Really, the supplies required do not create too high a bar, even for those of us who are DIY-averse or flat-out-of-time. We have some options on Taylor Street for boxes & stationery that will not only add symbolic significance to the occasion, but also create a true wedding day keepsake. A shoebox with blank paper or note cards, however, will do just fine.
Boxes: Both of these keepsake boxes could first be used for your wedding reception, so they would not only be pulling double duty, they would have the added significance of having been a part of your wedding day itself.
Paper: There are many awesome stationery alternatives available for you to consider. We have a few for that would work well, like these:
The directions are straightforward. You each write a love letter to your soon-to-be spouse, expressing your feelings on this day — your wedding day — what you are most excited about, your hopes, what is most important to you about this day, and why & when you fell in love with him/her. You know, the emotional kind of “stuff”.
[And this idea is really awesome for a blended family ceremony – including your children in on the time capsule by adding their own notes makes it even more memorable. And, it creates a potential family tradition with the opening of the time capsule and its periodic updating.]
Guestbook time capsule
This version has you asking guests to write you a note on a postcard you provide and drop it in your “time capsule” to be opened on your 1st anniversary. This invites your guests to participate in a way that a guest book signature does not. Here are a couple of ideas for collecting your postcards.
Kick it up a notch: So a year has passed and you’ve opened up your time capsule on your one year anniversary. You’ve read your letters over a glass of wine and eaten what remains of your wedding cake. So now what?! Here are a few ideas for what to add for “the next time” — regardless of what time capsule option you decided on — for your 5 year anniversary, 10 year, … or whatever year you agree to re-open it.
- Take a picture of the two of you with the time capsule the day you open it up & include it for the next time;
- Include that day’s front page from your local paper or print-out from your favorite news source;
- Write about:
- The hardest moments you faced as a couple your first year;
- Your favorite memory of year one;
- A goal or prediction for the next time you open your time capsule;
- Write another personal note to each other.
You get the idea, there are lots of things you could include. Just don’t make this list so long that it gets tedious.
Close it up, store it somewhere safe. Done.
This may become a ritual that you continue the rest of your lives or it may be something you enjoy once and set aside. Regardless, your notes to each other or notes from your friends & family will become something you will be able to look back on, reflect & reminisce when you do happen upon it – especially after it has gathered dust for years. Your children may also enjoy the opportunity to glimpse a bit more about you as well, in your own writing and in your own words … “when you were young”.
Life goes by pretty fast and if you are like me, unless we force some pauses along the way to reflect and reconnect, we miss some awesome & inspiring moments, unique opportunities to really connect with each other.
Your time capsule may help you both re-connect, to a younger you and to each other. Sweet.
This word inspiration just keeps beating at my brain. There are days when those eleven letters feel like they add up to nothing but a four letter word. I’ve been spending the week looking for it everywhere. Yesterday, I was hoping a drive through the rolling blooming hills of California Highway 58 would propel me to that moment of inspirational clarity. It did not. It was a beautiful drive though, but I am biased towards the California landscape. There’s nothing like it and this year the “Cal-scape” is green and full of color. I wanted something to just pop out at me, make me stop and feel inspired. Something to bring on moment of WOW.
The thing is, inspiration comes when it comes. It can’t be pushed to just shout out “Hey dude, I’m over here!”. Actually, since I am fantasizing about it, I’d like to have seen Julie Andrews running through the mustard yellow hills in her light blue dress singing out “The hills are alive with the sound of music…”. Now that would be inspirational! Nice color combination too. Hmmmm…
Though at this moment I’d even take Ewan Mcgregor’s version from Moulin Rouge. That would have set all my Gay inspirational bells ringing. Inspiration check box: Checked.
Anyway, here it is Friday and I’m still working out my inspirational dilemma for the week. I’m searching and searching for that idea, that color, that texture that says create me, shape me, mold me into something grand. My mind explodes “Oh wow that is the coolest thing ever…”.
So far, I’ve got nothing. It didn’t come this week so I’m telling you about the idea of wanting it to come instead. I suppose the hunt in itself is based on inspiration so…
What am I hoping will happen here? Here’s the thing. I don’t want to write another 10 best list, or the top 5 something, or the cutest moments of this or that event. I’m kinda over those lists. It’s all regurgitation of something or someone and frankly we’ve all heard it before. So let’s be real here. Inspiration is going to have to come when it comes and I’ll make it as original as I can. It just won’t be in some repurposed top 100 something or another. It may just be me writing to tell you “Today, I’ve got nothing.”.
Inspiration is not a four letter word. It’s more like an eleven letter nuisance that I drive myself crazy with, and similar to other self imposed afflictions that cause a moment of insecurity now and then. Inspiration is my eleven letters of hell this week. It will pass. There is always another Monday that points toward Friday.
This practicing gratitude exercise is much more difficult than I had anticipated. In my effort to find a rhythm, a framework, topics, [anything!], I’ve scoured the internet (and my own well-intentioned collection of self-help, self-actualization and positivity books…). I eventually found Marelisa Fabrega and her Daring to Live Fully site. Maybe because her message is not too ooey-wooey, or maybe because she and I share an interest in Reiki, her writing voice and attitude clicked with me, and helped me to get unstuck. She posted a series of gratitude prompts, and I plan to use some as a jumping off point — starting with today.
I Am Grateful for These 3 Simple Pleasures
1. quiet time at 4:30 a.m.
Shout-out to my fellow 4:30 a.m.’ers. I do not spring from bed at this hour. It is not without a struggle that I slowly pull myself up and out. Sometimes I am not successful and wait for a later 6 a.m. call-to-action. But I am, nevertheless truly grateful for this quiet time of the day – often my only quiet time of the day. I miss it when I don’t have it – and it shows…ask David.
2. morning walks with David and our dogs
As daily chores go, this one is complicated — involving multiple steps even before leaving the house. It centers around a ritualized routine that I’ve given up trying to summarize for you as it is just too complicated and, I realize now, makes us sound batshit crazy. Ultimately, David and I and the dogs end up on one of a few close-by routes. Though sometimes David and I walk mostly in silence, more often we talk about the website, our son, wedding plans, aging parent issues, presidential elections — stuff. What I am grateful for is the time together. Time to enjoy our dogs. Time that we are not distracted by our phones or our son. Time that helps us to reconnect with each other, appreciate central California, and just talk. A time that encourages us to slow down and be present.
3. right to marry the person I love
Just a few months ago we, and many inclusive, fair-minded adults around the U.S., were celebrating this giant step toward full equality as anything but a “simple pleasure.” But really — when separated from the long and difficult struggle to achieve it — this right is the simplest of pleasures; one that most couples have not ever had to even think about not having. It is so basic a right that it does not register as something to be grateful for being able to do. I look forward to a time when same-sex couples need to be reminded to list the right to marry on their gratitude lists because it will have become so unsurprising and so unremarkable that it will be just as overlooked and taken-for-granted.
Next-up — finding three life lessons I am grateful to have already learned, I think.